There they go again...

It seems that the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) has noticed your drinking habits, and has calculated the cost of your miscreant behavior on the rest of society:

Excessive alcohol use cost states and D.C. a median of $2.9 billion in 2006, ranging from $420 million in North Dakota to $32 billion in California. This means the median cost per state for each alcoholic drink consumed was about $1.91.

Get that? It costs your state almost two bucks every time you knock down a beer. The study's recommendations? The usual:

Perusing the Community Guide, one can find the “effective strategies” recommended by CDC’s Brewer for dealing with excessive alcohol consumption in the U.S. Among them are increasing alcohol taxes, limiting alcohol outlet density through licensure and zoning regulations, and maintaining limits on days of sale and hours of sale. In addition, the Community Guide recommends against the privatization of retail alcohol sales.

 Gee, why does this sound familiar? This is a fresh approach to alcohol-related problems, right? (reference The Prohibition - 1919-1933).

It also sounds disturbingly like the underlying premise for my book, The Last Bartender. In the book, similar economic arguments led to a new prohibition on alcohol sales, and...well it's a novel; chaos ensues. I strongly recommend that you read the book before the government taxes you that extra $2 per cocktail to make up for turmoil your drinking habits are costing society.

Read the entire article by Dr Susan Berry over at Breitbart/Big Government: CDC 'Excessive Alcohol' Study Author Recommends Prohibitionist Policies

And as long as you're up, grab a softcover copy of The Last Bartender  here, or the Kindle edition here. 

Time for one on the house...

Okay, I know you've been waiting; here's your buyback. I'm running a three-day (April 3, 4 & 5) giveaway promotion for The Last Bartender (Kindle edition only). In case you're not familiar:

Set in the near future, The Last Bartender follows Justin Gardiner, a highly-decorated Operation Enduring Freedom veteran who returns home to work as a bartender.

Just a few years into his new career, rising healthcare costs and other political factors lead to a new prohibition on alcohol — all bars are closed, retail alcohol sales are halted and criminalized, and Justin finds himself out of work. Soon afterwards, Justin and his barroom cohorts buy a rundown Catskill resort and set up an ambitious bootlegging operation, supplying keg beer to the New York City area.

Events start rapidly spiraling out of control as the Drug Enforcement Agency closes its net and the mob aggressively moves in on the moneymaking operation, leaving Justin and his friends caught in the crossfire of the opposing forces.

 You can grab your free copy here: The Last Bartender. And thanks again for your support.

Lift a glass to toast Prohibition Repeal Day!

It was 86 years ago today (Dec 5, 1933) that the Nation's 13-year grand failure of trying to regulate public morality was repealed by the ratification of the 21st Amendment to the Constitution.

3.2% ABV beer was actually legalized on April 7th of that year, when FDR signed the Beer-Wine Revenue Act, paving the way for the decriminalization of rum and eggnog just in time for Christmas.

Here's a brief refresher course: Prohibition in the United States

Was that the end of it? Not at all. We got a small taste just seven years ago with the great Four Loco panic of 2010. And the fun never ends, with New York State officials still on the (your) case with their recent “Health Improvement Plan.” Not the mention the ongoing, decades-old War on Drugs, another government prohibition policy that gets more expensive, deadly and futile every year it continues. (BTW, for my latest polk-in-the-eye at the Drug War, check out my last novel, Aqua Vitae).

So what's a determined tippler to do? Well, if you can read and drink at the same time, may I humbly suggest investing in a copy of my book, The Last Bartender. The book postulates the imposition of a second federal alcohol prohibition (don't laugh ... now that you're responsible for your neighbor's healthcare costs, don't you have a financial interest in his overall health as well?). As you might expect, this state of affairs isn't greeted with the same level as enthusiasm by everyone, and the story follows a cadre of those still-thirsty malcontents as they make their way through the new legal and cultural landscape. I promise it'll keep you both entertained and ticked-off.

I've written more on the subject here: And so it begins..., and here: Prohibition, Redux. And please stop by and read the first couple of chapters of the book here: Last Bartender Excerpts.

Update: Looks like the Neo-Prohibitionists have found another target: Drunken Gummi bears no laughing matter. Vodka-soaked candies are the latest method kids are using to get drunk. We'll have to add this to last year's other apocalyptic alcohol scourge that we all barely survived, the alcohol-infused whipped cream crisis. Your government, hard at work...

Update: Wait, there's more! I forgot all about the vodka soaked tampons. That article also covers the subject of "butt chugging," which I'll leave you to research on your own. 
Update: Here's how the news was covered back in the day...  Prohibition finally comes to an end in 1933 (Originally published by the Daily News on December 6, 1933.)

Drink up

I'm a bartender, not a mixologist...

What's starfruit?

Bad blogger...

Yikes! I've been really remiss in blogging since the beginning of the year. Part of that has been because of time spent first looking for work, then finding and doing it (I'm presently slinging drinks at the Cellar Door Bistro in Ridgefield, CT - stop in and say hello). And part is because I've developed a lazy habit of simply tweeting anything interesting that catches my eye.

So how goes Aqua Vitae, you ask? Slowly, as you might have guessed. I'm well past 108,000 words (412 pages), almost finished, really, and still occasionally manage to add a paragraph or two from notes that I've scribbled to myself while at work. But I find it almost impossible to "get in the zone" and crank out some serious volume now my energy is focused elsewhere. That problem would be easily solved if say, 150,000 or so of you would kindly purchase one or more of my books; it's my own personal lottery ticket, I know ... hope springs eternal.

You can read the opening chapters of Aqua Vitae here; then please consider purchasing one of my other books here. Every new and returning customer is deeply appreciated.

Celebrate Prohibition Repeal Day!

 UPDATE: This post has been updated for 2012 here: Lift a glass to toast Prohibition Repeal Day!

It was 78 years ago today (Dec 5, 1933) that the Nation's 13-year grand failure of trying to regulate public morality was repealed by the ratification of the 21st Amendment to the Constitution.

3.2% ABV beer was actually legalized on April 7th of that year, when FDR signed the Beer-Wine Revenue Act, paving the way for the decriminalization of rum and eggnog just in time for Christmas.

Here's a brief refresher course:


Was that the end of it? Not at all. We got a small taste just last year with the great Four Loco panic of 2010. Not the mention the ongoing, decades-old War on Drugs, another government prohibition policy that gets more expensive, deadly and futile every year it continues.

So what's a determined tippler to do? Well, if you can read and drink at the same time, may I humbly suggest investing in a copy of my book, The Last Bartender. The book postulates the imposition of a second federal alcohol prohibition (don't laugh ... now that you're responsible for your neighbor's healthcare costs, don't you have a financial interest in his overall health as well?). As you might expect, this state of affairs isn't greeted with the same level as enthusiasm by everyone, and the story follows a cadre of those still-thirsty malcontents as they make their way through the new legal and cultural landscape. I promise it'll keep you both entertained and ticked-off.

I've written more on the subject here: And so it begins..., and here: Prohibition, Redux. And please stop by and read the first couple of chapters of the book here: Last Bartender Excerpts.

Update: Looks like the Neo-Prohibitionists have found another target: Drunken Gummi bears no laughing matter. Vodka-soaked candies are the latest method kids are using to get drunk. We'll have to add this to last year's other apocalyptic alcohol scourge that we all barely survived, the alcohol-infused whipped cream crisis. Your government, hard at work...

Update: Wait, there's more! I forgot all about the vodka soaked tampons. That article also covers the subject of "butt chugging," which I'll leave you to research on your own. 

Drink up! While you can...

What to do with all of that leftover apple cider...

This'll make quick work of all of that fresh-pressed apple cider taking up space in your post-Thanksgiving refrigerator:

~ Fill a highball glass with ice.
~ Add two ounces of bourbon.
~ Add one ounce of apricot brandy/liqueur.
~ Fill with about five ounces of apple cider.
~ Drink and repeat application until desired effect is achieved...

McSorleys Old Ale House...

Here's a great video piece on McSorleys Old Ale House on East 7th Street in NYC. Gotta love a place that has no bar stools and only sells beer two at a time. Been there many a time myself and survived some epic parties, some of which I actually remember...



Visit their web site here: McSorleys Old Ale House

The Kentucky Honey Trap...

Here's another cocktail that I've been pouring for quite a while now: The Kentucky Honey Trap. It's essentially a bourbon-based Rusty Nail (Scotch and Drambuie) and may be enjoyed in either a "Kentucky" or "Tennessee" version.

The Kentucky Honey Trap...
~  In a rock glass, toss in one or two ice cubes (for top-shelf bourbon), more for mixing bourbon.
~ Pour 1 1/2 or 2 ounces of bourbon.
~ Add about 1/2 ounce of Wild Turkey American Honey bourbon liqueur.

Like the Rusty Nail, the proportions of the two ingredients are approximate. Some people like it as high as 50-50 (very sweet); I prefer 3/4 - 1/4 mix for good bourbon, maybe 2/3 - 1/3 for everything else. 

The Tennessee Honey Trap...
~ In a rock glass, toss in your ice.
~ Pour 1 1/2 or two ounces of Jack Daniels or George Dickel No. 12 Tennessee Whisky.
~ Add about 1/2 ounce of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey.

Enjoy!

The Kentucky Cobbler...

My very own spirituous concoction, the Kentucky Cobbler, is now being featured on the autumn cocktail menu at the elegant Glenmere Mansion. The recipe is as follows:

In a mixing glass full of ice...
~ One jigger (about an ounce and a half) of bourbon (at Glenmere we use Maker's Mark).
~ One jigger of peach schnapps.
~ A healthy bar spoon of brown sugar (a fat teaspoon).
~ Cinnamon to taste.
~ Three ounces or so of sour mix.
~ Shake like all hell (you want to be sure to dissolve that brown sugar). Pour into a good-sized rock glass.
~ Garnish with a cherry and another light tap of cinnamon.
~ Drink and repeat until desired effect is attained.

Enjoy!

Charlie Weaver Bartender Toy...

I had one of these when I was a kid. For those of you who know me well, I think it explains a lot...

Mixology has finally jumped the shark...

I refer to myself as a bartender, never as a "mixologist," because if you sit across from me in the bar, I'm generally more interested in you than in your drink's garnish.



I'm always happy to place a fresh orange slice and a cherry in your whiskey sour, maybe even muddle a mojito for you, even though I know the only reason you're drinking it is because all the beautiful people are drinking it. But if you're looking for bugs in your drinks (on purpose) you and I are very different people...

And here's another "too much is never enough" trend that I predict will last as long as it takes for the recession to end and for the folks promoting this idea to get real jobs: barrel aging cocktails. It's not nearly as bad as the bug-garnish stunt above, which we all know is just a blatant pitch for a short filler segment on the Food Channel, and does has a quasi-legitimate ring to it, but, well, you judge for yourself...



If you'll pardon my cynicism for a moment - a Manhattan is a cocktail that is made from about 90 to 95% rye whiskey or bourbon, either of which has already generally spent  four to six years or more in barrels (and in the case of bourbon, in charred barrels). I'm not sure what the extra few weeks or months on wood are supposed to accomplish here, except to oxidize the vermouth, which, in my opinion, is just taking a generally foul tasting fortified wine and making it taste that much worse (and likely charging the customer a nice premium for the pleasure...).

And now we're barrel aging Negronis?  A negroni is one part gin, one part sweet vermouth, and one part Campari. All three ingredients have been steadily dropping like a stone in popularity for the last 30 years, with the possible exception of gin, which is showing a slight uptick recently due to the introduction of several high-profile, boutique brands. I understand the argument that gin takes to barrel aging better than vodka, but my feeling is that if this was such a great idea, the British or Dutch would have started doing this three hundred years ago, when the had easy access to gin, barrels and fire (should there be a need to char the barrels). Besides, negronis taste like crap, and a barrel-aged negroni can only taste like woody, oxidized crap.

These people disagree: Barrel Aged Cocktails,  Barrel Aged Negronis, Barrel-Aged Cocktails: These Are A Thing Now

More on barrel-aging cocktails: Coming of Age